The Supreme Truth.

All through our lives, we have choices made for us,we labour under the common misconception that we are our own masters, how laughable is this folly. I for one have always had to dance to the tunes He plays, and apart from making me a tolerable dancer, it has given me the satisfaction of fulfilling a higher purpose, that's all. He has given us this life, as a sort of trial run, to prepare us for what is to come, and our outcome (in what is to follow), shall be determined to a large extent by the manner in which we dance to the Celestial tune because dance we must, the only thing in our hands is whether we smile through it all, or crib our life away.

I am not trying to trivialise something as important as this, I just am trying to keep myself from tears, and also to reiterate my Faith, by writing it out, which, in my case, as I live alone, is like saying it all aloud to someone

The Almighty has revealed the plans He has for us, His supreme creation, and that has been passed down for generations, unchanged, word by word, in the form of the Holy Koran, for people to try and read, accept and modulate their lives, the way He has deemed it proper, not forcing us ever to do anything, against our will, but if only we were to use the organ that is supposed to make us the most superior inhabitants of this world, our brains, we would see the irrefutable logic behind it all, and that the after-life is the one that really counts. If so, all that we go through, or I should say, are blessed enough to be put through, will seem like His special blessings to each one of us, proof of how much He loves us all, regardless of how much we accept Him, in our lives.

This is meant to be a place where I can post things close to me, my feelings and thoughts, and so everything that is put down here, can hardly be humorous, or witty or clever, for that matter. I have seen the truth, and wanted to speak out loud, because these past few days have been trying, and as is very common with us all, our faith is at its most shaky, in times of stress, and this is me re-affirming my faith, my trust in Him, that whatever He has planned for me, I shall endeavour to carry it through, if He so wills it, and ask for His help, in doing so, because, even for a leaf to flutter, is but a manifestation of His will.

Sehwag

Veeru just went past a glorious 250, Yipee!

--
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rajarshi,,

Afternoon Tea, Cricket and Pride

I just gave Virendra Sehwag a standing ovation, on his 4th Test double hundred, I could'nt help it, here was a man who had no place in our Test team, 2 matches back, was so badly out of form, and here he was, playing shots with the same non-chalance that he had shown, when he was getting out to bad shots, misplayed hits, during that lean patch of his. All his shots wouldn't find a place in the cricketing manuals, his attitude that of a marauding conquerer, he was hitting Ntini, who was bowling at 140ks, as if he were a spin bowler, smashing him for a huge unorthodox 6, while on 193, and reaching another milestone in the next few balls. I donot claim to have much technical know-how, as far as cricket goes, but like any other Indian, I love my Cricket, and wear my proud heart on my sleeve, on all matters Cricket. This was just a man doing what he knows best, and in the process showing a few people, who had given up, a bit too early, what Class was all about. The 'harping-carpies' will have a field day with the so-called dead pitch, and they may very well do so, till the cows came home, it still wouldn't take away anything from a match, an innings, I was privileged to have watched, and there can be no two opinions about that.

The fact I think, will terrify the South Africans all the more, is that they have Sachin sitting with pads on, in what could arguably be termed the best form of his career, and then Ganguly and Laxman to follow, with Dravid just beginning his vigil, at the crease, I would say, we are in for a thrilling ride indeed, and we better settle down, and enjoy the show,, I have a feeling, Sehwag has just warmed up, the way he hoisted Ntini for a 4, turned back, and walked off to tea, he is enjoying himself, and he looked Glorious doing so.

The Tea Leaves' Journey,,

I was returning from the factory of the Tea Estate that I work in, and the words were already forming, For the first time, I had an idea of what I was about to attempt to put down, in today's blog. In the factory, for the first time, I was taken through the intricate albeit precise process that goes into providing many of us with one of life's gretest pleasures, a hot steaming cup of tea. From the onset, till they are packed into bags, the tea leaves go through a lot of crushing, cutting, drying, rolling, and sorting, a lot of the process involving strainers of varying mesh, and the tea leaves have to pass through them before they are strained for a final tme, into our cups. The mesh of the strainers are responsible for the accurate grading, sorting and pricing of what was once the pride of the entire nation, 'Assam Tea'. This tea, even though, still popular with a lot of people, all over the country, is fast losing many of its International admirers, to the encroachment by Vietnamese,/ Sri-Lankan tea.

As I was going through the factory, I could'nt help but wonder, what a perpetual hub of activity it was, the machines never stopping for more than a few hours, till November, when the so-called season ends. Tea gardens are considered to be laid back, sleepy places, this factory soon dispells that particular fallacy. It is an untiring, relentless and precise process these people strictly keep an eye on, that results in a great cup of tea, and in this whole process, small, unprecedented, glitches can ruin a good produce. which merits the eagle-eye. On my way back, I could see the Hospital from a-far, and what a contrast it was, quiet, deserted and full of the sounds that make up an early spring night, which is exactly the way it should be. This doesn't mean I am a lazy lay-about, its just that too much of an activity in the hospitals does not signify a happy occassion, the only people who frequent these premises are the sick, ill and suffering, and an increase in the number of these people, is hardly desirable, right?

I will never be the owner of a flourishing nursing home, with an attitude like this, I know,,,,but you know what? I am happy just the way I am,

Till next time,, Cheers (to a cup of tea).

Another Rainy Afternoon,,Tea, Cricket and my thoughts,,

This is one of those rainy days, we come across so very often, in this part of the world. Winter chills seem to linger and lurk in the side-lines, quick to jump in and add their bit to the rains, grey skies, wet- sloshy lanes,, the tea bushes spouting fresh, new, wet, glistening leaves, the world looks pretty indeed, and people seem to develop a more laid-back attitude to everything. Hot fritters and steaming hot tea, a Cricket telecast on the Telly,,,,wish this lunch break went on for ever.

Today I again experienced something, that makes what we Doctors do, worthwhile, in spite of all the death, decay and illness around us, and the endless frustrations of not being able to do enough,and on time. On my first day at this new job, I met a young female patient, admitted in our TB unit, who looked very precariously close to death, and learnt that this was her third trip to the Hospital, and that she was almost abandoned by her In-laws and her mother too, rarely found time for her, she lay on her bed, all day, her eyes looking out of the window, she never spoke, and was turning weaker by the day.

My staff let me know that her family found it hard to admit, initially, that she had TB, a very common hurdle to proper diagnosis and treatment of the same, here, and that when she finally became too weak to go through any more 'broom-beating rituals', that she was endlessly subjected to, she was dumped here, where she was put on the proper medications, again, and all we could do, was to wonder if it was all too late, I didn't see what I could do next, she was getting her medicines, and we could only wait for her to respond. I tried to speak to her, to get her to go outside, sit in the warmth of the sun, to get cleaned up, she didn't even turn towards my voice. Something made me go through this seemingly futile ritual, day after day, and one day, after a week or so, I saw her sitting on her bed, and she gave me, what could be called a smile, when I spoke to her. I felt like I had achieved a lot, and doubled my efforts, spending a few minutes in her room, every day, making my nursing staff too, talk to her, I never once tried to sympathise or patronise her, in any way and tried to treat her as any other normal person, kidding, making a few jokes, and slowly her smile became a much regular feature, and she soon begun to get out of her bed, sit outside, and attempt to try and look pretty.

One day she talked,,,,,,,,,,,,, she said that she wanted some warm water to try and take a bath, and even though she was being kept clean by the staff, her statement made me so happy. I had to go to a training for a week, a few days later, and during that time she had a set-back. After I returned, our efforts continued, and by the first of this month, she was almost completely back to what she must have been like, before her nightmare began. She put on weight, acted as a chaperon for our other female TB patients,helping us take care of them, talking to them, telling them what to do, and what not to, she spent time just chatting to them, with their family members who came to visit, and finally, she went home yesterday.

Today morning she was waiting for me, when I reached work, all dressed up, alive, smiling and looking just the way a girl her age was supposed to, her husband had been given a talking-to, by 'yours truly', and seems like, he was looking after her, quite well. She smiled at me, said, that she was happy now, and that she wanted to try and have a baby,,I wanted to stand there and cry, I was so pleased (told you all earlier, I cry at the drop of a hat) and my job didn't look so bad after all, The whole turn-around took almost two whole months, but was worth every moment,,,,

Tea with Abeeda,,

Khusboo ka koi jhonka ho toh, saason se zanjeer karu,,

Itne khwaab hain aankho aankho, kis kis kii taabir karu,,

Jiske saaye me baith, toh saare gam begaane ho,

Pehle har deewaar giraau, phir woh ghar taameer karu,

Tumne kucch poocha tha mujhse aur main ab-tak sochta huu,

Kitne zakhm chhupa kar rakkhu, kitne gam tehrer karu,,

Dying For a cup of TEA !!

I just cannot be expected to write anything of much value, today, and no, I donot suffer from pathological Egomania, but I am in an over-critical mood today, and whatever I try to write will seem like a post-mortem write up, not an eulogy, at that. So, the safest thing, I have decided, will be to write on things closer home, so that I step on my own toes, if at all I do. Much ,much safe, Right?

My blog's looking desperately in need of some cosmetic repairs, closely written lines, no proper spacing between them, horrid font and color schemes, the text, not anything to write home about, I mean, I can attend to my aging looks, with the help of some Ponds' age miracle, and believe me when I say, if they manage to do something about my face and the way it is starting to look, the Ponds' people will be nothing short of being the next Messiah,and I wish I had something similar for my poor blog.I, am not a very tech-savvy person, to start with,(is there any Oscar for understateents,?), and so all my attempts to make a visually appealing Blog, are just making it look like something the dog drags in,.

SIGH!!!!!!,, My Profile too, is missing the only word that I found, did describe me, totally and precisely, and I had to remove that under considerable duress, because some people found that derogatory, and here I was, thinking that as long as we donot insult any-one else(unduely), a little bit of self deprecation is quite all-right,.the bonus to that being, we don't stand any chance, what-so-ever, of turning into arrogant, Opinionated, self-righteous, know-it-alls. There is so much I still am to learn.

The Blondes of the world donot have to cry themselves hoarse, they are not the only people to be judged at face value, no sireee!! I have found that Doctors have to look, talk, smile and dress,a certain way, always helps if you are short-sighted, with horn-rimmed, (so-called) horribly unfashionable glasses, your skills be damned. I mean, any person in a pair of decent-fitted jeans, and a nice, trendy tee' has to be " DUHH !!!!" right?, How much more 'Kora-Kaagaz' can it all get? Wait, things don't end here, we are even judged on what we read, Yes!! Can you beat that?

All my life, I had to justify my liking the stuff Daniele Steel wrote, not any more, I went ahead and bought the latest paperback she wrote. If you watch soaps, serials of any kind, you cannot divulge that little gem of information, in a public place. People are so quick to judge us, based on so many, unnecessary stereotypes, it really gets to be a pain in the ass, almost every time. 'Bigots' would be too mild a term for these people, and I really am thankful at not being born to a household with one, imagine what pitiful lives, these people must subject their families to,.

I am about to end another day at work, and I think a cup of steaming hot milky tea, would manage to iron out a few of these frowns, and creases. Till next time,, :

P S: As always,I have begun somewhere, and ended at a far-removed place, this mirrors my state of mind, flights of fancy, you say?

P P S: I can see SOME PEOPLE go, hmmmmmmmm! with raised eye-brows( dyed ones, at that ).

P P P S; No lambu-ji, I donot mean you, cross my heart and hope to die.

Evening-Tea,,,Memories for Company,,

I really missed punching away at my computer keys yesterday, had a really tough day, which lasted way beyond 3.30 am in the morning, and by the time I finally went to sleep, I was too tired to get any.
Today was HOLI, a festival, or rather a day, we were so enthusiastic in celebrating, way back in the days, when we were small, with hardly any care or worry to hinder us in the serious and single-minded pursuit of just a good time, and it was amazing, how we succeeded, most of the time. We, as humans, have this habit of indulging in nostalgia, and it's strange, how the only memories that survive of our childhood, are the good ones, of the great boisterous times we had, interspersed by memories of a sad kind, but in such a way that they hardly spoil the picture for us. Bryan Adams singing,"summer of 69" is a favourite among many people, many of whom are not even serious followers of English music, as a genre, and the reason is again 'nostalgia', for even those who were in the storks' store-house, during the period, to be released into this world, at a much later date, the song evokes a sense of longing, for the days past by, and we all end up happy, wallowing in the memories of our individual-happy-days, and we all have our share of those. The future may bring what we crave, but all that is cloaked in a mass of uncertainty and this is why we would rather go back, misty-eyed, to the past and the sense of security that it affords us, every trip down memory-lane, also serving to give us the courage to look forward to the future, to brace ourselves for whatever is to come, the belief that good times are there for us, at the back of our minds, a safety net that allows us to walk forward, secure in the knowledge that, we can fall back, at any time, not get hurt, rejuvenate ourselves, and carry on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

A Rainy Evening,,and Tea

A rainy evening, sitting alone at my table, trying desperately to improve my typing speed,watching the lightning flashes temporarily illuminate everything around an otherwise dark yard, spilling through the uncovered window panes, into the room, it is dark, due to a funny thing, all of a sudden, just minutes after the Electrician had left the premises, all the lights decided to go on strike, saving the power lines,, and as a result of that, my computer is on, so is my music system (thank-God for small mercies), but otherwise, I am sitting in a black-out! Whoever said life was dull in a Tea Garden hadn't obviously lived here,,

It is the festival of colors tomorrow, and I am looking for reasons to stay in,,maybe it is my age catching up with me,, but I donot find the crazed running-around, drunk, and in a daze, at all amusing,,everything is an excuse to play the idiot, now-a-days.

My friend is still in a blue funk, he has finally gone ahead and broken his cell-phone into bits, and is trying desperately to come to grips with how true love can turn into abject hatred, in a matter of days, and I can just look on,,

Tomorrow marks the birthday of a person who was once very close to me, and is now, just the opposite,,Here's wishing that person,,All the very best on the Special Day, with many many more healthy, fun and cheerful returns,.

A cry for help,,(No tea today)

How often do we really mean it, when we say, we could die for some-body? Can any one just end the life we hold so dear, for some-body else?

I am reading " the Zahir", now, long overdue, I know,, and I came across some lines where the author was trying to differentiate between a doctor and other 'normal' people,, I use the term normal, in all seriousness, the author says, that, a doctor has to take even an ordinary everyday situation, for which everyone else would have a seemingly innocent, rational explanation and hunt for the other, equally plausible, logical, if somewhat unlikely explanations,, and I thought, how very true that was, it is, perhaps thanks to this conditioning, we undergo,that we turn out to be such difficult people, in our personal lives, cursing all who cross our paths, in it, with eternal doom, in this twisted warped (Garp-like) world of ours, where nothing can ever be taken for granted, and we hunt for reasons, in places we could very well not do so, look for a hundred different 'logical' reasons and answers, for questions that aren't even asked,, we end up splitting hairs, making ourselves, and all those around us, miserable!

It is this very attitude, which makes us take every situation at so much more than just face-value, and go through endless torture, for the same. It is just this which is making my friend feel like this is the end of the world, and even though I want to do and say something, anything to make him feel better, make him go back to being the way he was, I can't, because, I, of the-'thousand words a minute' reputation, can't think of even a single sentence, that would achieve this,, what am I to do?

what would you do?

I'd really love for some-body to try and answer this,,PLEASE!!! I am at my wit's end, and am beginning to get really scared here. I mean it. This is not a gimmick meant to increase my TRP, or something similarly lame and insane, this is an honest plea for help. So,, HELP!!

Sunday Evening Tea,,,

Its very seldom that I actually have even a skeletal idea of what I am going to write, when I sit to do it, and this is the truth, which is reflected in what I write, I guess, as I've been told by one of friends, who is a regular reader, if not the only one,, and I am so thankful to him, because he is one of the, if not THE ONLY reasons, why I am persisting.

I am listening to Abeeda Parveen sing " Kesariya Baalam" and can't help wonder if a voice and a talent like hers, can be anything but more proof of the Almighty's benign, all encompassing presence. Today was a Sunday and to me it was like any other day, except that I didn't have to go to the Hospital (even though I did), and Yes, I did get up late, a luxury I don't want to enjoy every day, for that would mean, trouble getting to sleep at night, and THAT, as we all know, is no pleasure, and has in fact, led to many a doctor leading lives of Millionares, by helping people, sleep, for a few precious hours,,Thank-God, I at least donot have that particular problem to deal with,, for now, at least. What a really optimistic statement, that was! Right?

My mind is not at peace, if you haven't guessed it by now, that is,, my friend is going through a very tough time, and our penchant of playing God, is what is responsible for this,, someone wants to spare him the hurt he MAY face, in the future, and so is making sure he hurts, like hell, right now,, Please tell me if I am the only person to whom this sounds like THE MOST STUPID PLAN ever? Why do we have to take a perfectly good thing, stamp our half-witted theories on it, and make ourselves miserable, ahead of time, when we can just go ahead and enjoy whatever Joy, we are given, for as long as we have them, and then,, leave the rest to the Almighty,? There must be times, like these when even He must groan at His decision to make us His best creation, when all we can ever do, is try and find ways to fuck-up this life we are given,

We have to stop trying to play God, it is not a thing we excell at, and we should rather try and be decent human beings, use our intellect in better, happier, more productive ways, so that when the time comes, for life to stick it to us, we at least have happy memories to fall back on,, I can just pray that Allah, in His kindness and Mercy give "D" the strength, to go through this,,

Afternoon cup of tea on my veranda,,,silences deafen,,

I have been asked why is it that I talk such a lot, on quite a number of occasions, the last time being just last week, and even though I had given a flippant answer at the time, in reality, I guess it is because I really hate the sound of silence, yes, silence does have sounds, and none of them are pleasant, this being one of the main reasons why I never have been able to understand what on earth people mean when they say,,"companionable silence",,,

This afternoon, sitting on my quarter's veranda, having not gone to the sports meet that was taking place in a different Garden Club, I was trying to read, it was a typical early spring noon, windy and pleasant, the tree in my front yard was busily strewing the ground beneath and around it, with orange leaves,my poor gardener would not like that, at all, and the poor chap DOES like a tidy, leaf-free yard, even though I liked quite the opposite, but I keep quiet because I have to watch how I behave in a garden, it would never do for the people who hired me to think they had a mad person on their hands, as it was, they were already worried that I was DEPRESSED,, reading one of my earlier posts,,Anyway, I am rambling, as usual,,So, there I was, listening to the enveloping silence, which was making itself heard, even over the noise of the wind, the falling leaves, shaken out of the trees, by the rustling, creaking branches, and the quiet never sounded more horrid then it did, just then. I hugged my knees close, and even though it was a little balmy, I felt a chill, it was the chill of loneliness, the sadness that my best friend was about to have his heart broken, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, the quiet reminded me that I was sitting all alone on my veranda, away from him, and the other people I loved, and that silence and its deafening noisy existence was probably going to make up a part of my life, no matter where I went, what I did, because this is what is meant to be my personal bed of thorns, and lie on it, I would have to,whether I liked it or not. The evening would soon be upon me, the night soon to follow, each bringing with it, overpowering silence, and I would have to find different ways of shutting my ears to it, in fact this is exactly what I am doing now, writing, with the music on, there was the T V after this, then blissful sleep,,,then the struggle would start again, on a Sunday morning,,the week to come after that,,, life has to go on, silences faced and endured,,its just hard to do it always, with a smile on my face,, that's when I cry,,,

Yes cry! That's for another day, a man and CRY ?,,,,,,,,

P S : My parents are coming for a stay, next week,, thank God for small mercies. life won't be so bad, then.

Cup of Tea on a Rainy Evening,,

This is one post that I've been meaning to share since quite a while, had thought of this during my last days at home, Haflong,, how very far away that sounds, especially this rainy evening, just having heard a train thunder by, with the delicious train noise, that somehow always makes one feel home-sick. Anyways, it was during my last few days at home, I was in the habit of going to my old school, which had been re-modelled into a Missionary Hospital, a few years back, and helping out there, since no doctor ever stayed there long enough, and one windy January morning, after my morning rounds were taken care of, I was indulging in the lovely luxury of a book, while basking in the sun, which had decided to make an appearance, albeit a late one, that day, when I noticed a lady sitting some distance away, a shawl covering most of her face and she was rather busy reading a news-paper, and since I knew for a fact, that no news papers had been delivered there for the past two-three days, I couldn't help but wonder who she was and what could she possibly find so engrossing, in old news,she seemed to be reading it the way children mug their lines, before exam time, and she also looked so very familiar,,, No! That couldn't be who I thought it was, I decided to enquire of the sister there, and it turned out, I indeed had recognised one of my old High-School teachers, who had since then been diagnosed as being mentally compromised and was staying at the convent,, I went to her and said "Hello",,She squinted against the sun, and smiled, I knew she had no way of recognising me, as I had lost quite a bit of weight (more like,dwindled from triplets to a single child), but after some time, on chatting a bit, in the lovely voice and diction I remembered so well, she said my name, and that my voice was still the same,,I was so happy, she was this lovely lady, who always spoke impeccable English, and wore beautiful, single colored silk sarees, she always smelled of something sweet, a smell I later learnt, belonged to ' pot-pourri', and her eyes still twinkled! She asked what I was doing, and reminisced quite a bit, with no sign of any mental disorder, in what she said, or the way she said it,,I spent some time talking, and then let her get back to her paper,,

The day before I came away, I went back, in the hope of meeting her, of saying Good-bye, she wasn't there, her brother had been to the convent, and taken her to their village for a visit.

She was a sad reminder of my days back then, of the life and people I had since then left, perhaps for-ever, and I felt sad, as I am doing now, writing this down,, for all that was past, those happy, mad, joyful days, the friends, the small desires, the small house I started my life in, my small town, life was at its best then,,, I miss it.

Different cup of tea,,,contd,

Scarlett O'Hara,, The most unheroine-like heroine that I've come across in these years, in the few books that I've managed to read. She always fascinated me from the first read, there have been many re-re-re-reads to follow, of course, and the first thing that struck me was how human she seemed, jealous, spiteful, petty, selfish and spoilt with a rich father to boot, a girl who expected things to go her way,,ALWAYS,, and yet they seldom did,, no matter how hard she tried. She had the looks and yet men, especially those whom she loved, went for the plain looking Melanie, who was her anti-thesis, to say the least. She made every mistake in the book and suffered for them, and yet when the time comes, she rises to the ocassion, unwillingly and with the choicest abuses on her lips, but rise she does, going as far as to deliver her rival's baby, and almost single handedly saving all their lives during the seige of Atlanta, with the help of the incorrigible Rhett Butler, whom she detested, and who was the only person who saw her for what she really was, (the rest of the people were busy putting her on a pedestal). She fights off amorous, drunk soldiers, protects her beloved Tara from intruders, another very unwomanly and ahead of her times- love for land, for its intrinsic beauty and attatched sentiments, no doubt, but also very much for the money it represented. She was so unwillingly positive, if such a term makes any sense at all, and to top it all , was her attitude of saying, that there always was a new day to follow, to every misery, and that things would probably look and be better the next day. Very often, swept away in the heat of our current crisis, we tend to forget this very important fact, that there always IS another day to follow,,,and Scarlett seemed so much better than Melanie and so many of the other heroines from so many other books, in that she was so much more real and close to what real people, with their follies and faults are like,

She made that huge tome seem like a real fast read, and this is one book I shall have on my bookshelf, for as long as I can,,,,!

Morning cup ofTea,,,

Some days start like a dream, you tend to wake up with a smile on your lips, a feeling that spills over into how you live the day, where everything around you seems to be whispering a secret, inaudible prayer of its own, life seems to treat you as Destiny's favourite child,,,,,and then there are those days when nothing seems to go quite the way you want, where the day seems to stretch on ahead of you like a torture with no seeming end, a day when all you really want to do is crawl back into bed, and wait for it to end,, We humans are selfish, to say the least, when it comes to ourselves, we want perfect days,, everyday, and when we don't, we tend to grumble, frown and curse everything around us that seemed so lovely, just, maybe the previous day, too tied up in the superficial accessories and trappings of life to realise our real purpose, in this world.

The " Quran" says, " Man should undertake every single prayer as his last, before he starts on his final journey, to meet his Creator forsaking all that he holds dear, his desires, his life ," which is exactly the way life is to be led, every day treated as another blessing from Him, bestowed on us with the sole purpose of fulfilling our individual commands from Him, to work, to play, but never to be wasted in thinking of what could have been, and never pondering on the day gone by, with never a thought to push any of today's work into the morrow, and if we do live every single day, like the blessing that it is,, at the end of the day, we will slip into a blissful sleep, where no nightmares shall be allowed to intrude, and one where He watches over us and one where we can stand up to His queries, and tell Him, even though The Almighty needs no telling, that we have been true to what He has taught us, and that we have lived our day, our lives just the way He meant us to.

Different cup of tea,,contd.

I am thinking of making this a regular feature, time and other factors permitting. I have completed just over a month at my new job and am quite liking it here. After my last job, at my Alma-Mater, as a Registrar, which is meant to denote a junior Faculty member, and as an Honorary M O of the ART Centre, which is an Anti HIV treatment centre, which provides free medications to the HIV and AIDS afflicted people of the area, run by the NACO, I was really at the cross-roads, I had spent more than three years of my life doing something I liked a lot, and which gave me the satisfaction of seeing a job well done, at the end of the day, but later on realised that I had nothing to show for it. There are certain things a person is expected to do by the time he/she reaches a certain age, of which I'd done nothing. No marriage, no kids no PG seat to show, I knew what I had done while at AMC, but how was I supposed to explain it to others? Since that job,and my disillusioned existence, since, my job here is giving me a sense of purpose, a feeling that what I am doing here, will perhaps make a small difference in some-one's life, and for me that is paramount. I get a sense of achievement with every small smile I receive from my patients, or when the small babies giggle, as I tickle them. It makes me feel good when small school-going children, stop, smile and say Good-Morning, believe me when I say, the day some-how looks and seems a lot brighter,after that. It is so peaceful and lovely here, and every single person I've encountered since my arrival here has gone out of their way to make me feel at home, in what was a very different life to start with. I am not a very ambitious person to start with, and all along, the few people and even fewer things that make up my small world, were more important to me, and I measure my success and failure in their context. Chubwa is a lovely place and I am indeed lucky to get a chance and make a bit of difference to another human life,a part that gets horribly lost at the jobs, the Metros have to offer. I just hope I can continue to do my job well, and as humanely as possible, because I truly feel, a Doctor not only treats an illness, he/she also spreads compassion, and tries to heal souls.

P S: I am loving the quarters allotted to me, and am trying to convert it into a " Home".

P P S : The Air crafts flying overhead (not today, it's cloudy) make me feel as if I am a part Of Rang-De-Basanti,,,,,

The supreme unifier

The 2nd of March,
Transit Lounge
Kolkata Airport,,(en-route to a lil' holiday)
The settings were nothing new,the usual airport-lounge stuff were all there, the same oft-repeated scenes being played out then? you may ask?,,,,,NO, not at all, there is a huge big plasma T V set on, muted(!!!),set to a sports broadcast, which was televising a live Ind-Aus match, the 1st Final, in fact, everyone there was glued to the same, men and women alike, there were passengers from three different flights and no-one was doing any-thing else, they were all so transfixed by the sight of Sachin, in the company of the new eligible bachelor on the block, Rohit Sharma,playing an innings of his life! We were cheering every single, four and even the occasional dodged ball, as if all our lives depended on the outcome,but then in India maybe it does! As Sachin inched slowly towards his century, taking India along the path of sure victory, the boarding announcements were being made,and where there is always the mad jostle-bustle, as if everything is on a first come-first served basis,there was absolutely no movement,save the odd one or two,here and there. In due course Sachin shamed the Aussies, raised his bat, all the spectators in that limited space, rose as one, with him, cheered, clapped some even jumped, and then,satisfied, filed out in an orderly fashion. There were odd,idiotic grins on many faces, and I was left wondering,then and during the two hour flight, how, despite all our so-called differences, we all seemed to come together,every time a cricket match seemed to be on,and how all our problems seemed to disappear,for an hour or two at least,if we did go on to win,and this some-how seemed especially poignant today, after India failed to qualify for the hockey berth in the Olympics. Sad, but the memory of that cricket match watched in the airport lounge,minus commentary, seemed more real than this.

A different cup of tea

How do i sign in? As usual, my confident self,,anyways,there was a choice of two topics for today's post,I decided to go with this,owing to my state of mind,yup!! you guessed right, m down in the dumps-again!!I have joined Tata Tea Ltd. as an Estate Medical Officer,at the 1st Tea Estate ever to be established in Assam,at a place called Chubwa,25 km from my Alma Mater,AMC. I came here on the 1st of Feb.and am still finding my feet,for this indeed is," A different cup-a-tea"-indeed.Its so beautiful amidst the verdant green landscape,misty and shrouded in mystique,in the early mornings,of which I get to see a lot,as my day here,at the Office, starts at an ungodly hour,at 6,30 am.

I have to get up,get bathed,ready,regain full possession of all my faculties and reach my Outdoor by .30 am, and then my day starts! Thew first few days I spent in getting used to the 5 servants(!!!!!) provided to every management staff,by the company,(did I tell you,I am a Deputy Manager here,from the day I start:)!!) They whisk away my slippers from under my feet,even before I've thought of removing them! Then come the 2nd source f amazement,my patients. They come in droves,(my nurses call me a bee-hive)and have to be taken care of,LITERALLY!!They do me a great favour by complying wit my requests to take their medications,and bat their eye-lashes in a way,the late Marilyn Monroe would find worthy of emulating,if I ask them the "why" question,to anything! Tuberculosis is still THE No.1 cause of death here,and they still look upon this disease as a matter of shame,it's a 60 bedded hospital in a garden with a population of 12,000 and I'm the only doctor here,so it's no wonder I have such an easy time.I don't know,if my coming here has made any difference to them,what-so-ever,but I just want to make sure,my presence here makes a small change towards the right,for as long as I am here. These are such innocent people here,and even though it is quite a lonely life here,a person could manage to find himself busy,if he/she so wanted to.I've come back from a trip today,and am drawing in a deep long hard breath,before starting a new week at work here,from tomorrow,even while listening to "Azeem-o-shaan-Shahenshah" and writing this.I've decided to add a few photos of the place, and till my next post on this,keep the caffeine flowing! Cheers!!