A goodbye,,,,

This one is for you, brave lady, and for you ,her son.

I am going to miss saying 'Hi' to you walking into the ICU, I am going to miss you waving at me, unable to speak but acknowledging, all the same,,after all we knew each other for what would have been two months, come 7th of September,,but you decided to bow out of the tussle, the fight had raged on for so long,,,how befitting or should I say ironical it was indeed, I who received you into what became your last resting place, on one of my night shifts,, had to sit and complete the formalities of your passing,,.

I am going to repeat what I said to your son, as I handed him the envelope with the final documents,,that I was sure you knew what he had done for you, in spite of not knowing where the bills would be paid from, and also that I would wish my children do the same for me, if such an event comes by in my life,,,,, I admire the way you always smiled, even when your state reduced us to hapless, frowning spectators, I remember how you held that piece of Chocolate between your lips, a few days back, when your son bought you a slab of chocolate, on what would be his last Birthday that you were around for.

God grant your soul all peace, and when my time comes, may He grant me half the strength you showed, during your long struggle,.In death you showed me what life was all about.

Thanks dear lady, it was a pleasure and an honour, knowing you.

Woes

I wish I were a girl,,,,,Before any of you rush around looking for Freud's cell number, let me finish,, after that you can have me committed, for all I care. If this post is accidentally ('coz people do not usually read my trash!!) read by any hard core feminist, they are going to contemplate running after me with tar and brush..

Anyways, to get back on track, I really wish I were a girl, because girls really have it made. All through life guys subject themselves to various forms of torture, sometimes in the name of Education and at other times, in the name of fashion or in order to look cool, just so at the end of 30 years of gross misery, they are considered a safe enough bet and are made to shoulder responsibilities that cling on like an unsatieted vampire, letting go only after the death throes of the afore said male dislodges them, Girls on the other hand just have to look pretty, and now-a-days, talk smart, listen well and nod at the appropriate times,,all the time dissecting what every other female in the vicinity is wearing, or in their minds, roaming the aisles of the nearby Mall, where there is this "simply killing" sale going on,,,,They have MEN to look after them, for ever, once the bait is firmly held between the hormonally ravaged males' teeth,, and who are ready to play Sir Galahad, at the slightest hint of tears in their lady's cosmetically enhanced eyes, to whip out their coats and tide them over the pool of muddy sorrow troubling them,, at the moment..

Girls have it so easy,, never a thought of mortgages, loans, Anniversaries forgotten, and penance due,,knowing all the while that there is someone out there looking out for them, ready to forgo kingdoms, or betray their closest buddies, with hardly a pause to think,,ready with their arrows aimed at improbable golden deer, willing to face a marauding army or a roomful of giggling glances, waiting outside the trial room of a clothing store,,murmuring compliments, each more heartfelt than the previous,,,,all for an approving smile, a grateful touch,,,,,,I tell you Girls have it made...

I am totally for their using their so called feminine wiles and charms to get what they want,, it would be sheer foolishness indeed to waste such potent weapons,,,and when the targets are there jostling each other, chests bared, to be first in line, why not?

I tell you, I would love to be a girl.!!

Wednesday Blues?

To start something and leave it undone, incomplete while I zero in on some other far away thought, that's me. I think this is just a small aspect of the utter chaos that seems to reign in my brain, all the time.I have to count sheep to fall asleep but then find myself wondering about vegetarianism and animal rights. I go to watch a movie and find myself sobbing my eyes and heart out, much to the utter embarrassment of my companion of the moment, (did that sound Gigolo-ish?, I assure you, all's above-board and pristine,,,up till now), I sit down to an after movie dinner and start thinking of my increasing waist-line (so what if it is increasing at the rate of a Nano meter a month?) , I am doomed, to be one of those kill-joy old Bachelor uncles, who know just the exact thing to say, at any given moment, in order to shroud all happy things in a pall of gloom and despondency,,,try as I may, I never seem to be able to hold a smile, on my face for too long,, you can imagine what a horror I must look like, to those around me.

And before any-one diagnoses a nervous break-down, let me clarify,, this isn't a new occurrence for me, for as long as I can remember, I have been this way,,too wrapped-up in the unpredictability of the future, over which none of us have any control or say, what-so-ever,to try and absorb the joys of today,,. Sick? I know.

Rains,,,,,

Whatever misconceptions I had of being a great writer, have been washed away with the monsoons,,,, yes!!! The rains are finally here,, I could almost close my eyes and imagine being in Assam. Getting back to my original topic, the traffic through my blogs pages has been so heavy, the sloths, snails and tortoises are finding it tough going,,,

The rains are finally here, Hyderabad is looking like a new place, altogether.. Rains are a major trigger to nostalgia, I keep remembering the rains in my home-town, it used to go on for days on end, the water falling from the roofs, making deep holes in the ground below, the smell of wet earth,,,,leaves, freshly washed and green, people scuttling from place to place,, huddled under umbrellas, rain-gear on,,fires burning inside every house-hold, partly to ward off the chills, and partly to keep all the washing dry,, fritters and roasted corn cobs, by the fire-side, watching soaps and movies on cable,,,,calling up friends, on the landline....chatting for hours, until one of mum's scowls finally penetrates, and cuts them short...going for classes, in the rain, three people under a single umbrella, each one ending up, more soaked than dry,,,

I could go on and on,,,Rains always seem to improve my moods, and make me less grumpy a person,, I have never been one for sunny boring days, where there is simply no mystery,,cloud filled rainy days are full of the unexpected, the pregnant clouds looking to empty their loads, and you seeking to stay a step ahead,, I love this time of the year, and now that I know Hyderabad too has rains, like this, I love this place even more,,,

PS. I have started work on my book,,,it starts on a pavement in Hyderabad, one rainy evening,,,,