I have been told recently that I somehow manage to find something worthwhile and good, in whatever situation I maybe in, and here I was, priding myself in being a part of, if not THE most prestigious member of the 'cynics association',,,,Jokes apart, I have always thought of myself as being unduly worried and bothered about every minor niggling little thing around me, and have to make a real conscious effort to keep a smile on my face, at most times of the day,, that too because the ICU, as is an unwritten rule with every single ICU, where I work, is a cheerless place to begin with, and I do not want my countenance to cause any impedance of any sort in the recovery of the poor patients, who have enough woes of their own, without having to keep their eyes screwed up shut, too scared to lay eyes on my Medusa-like visage!
I cannot imagine what led the person to make a remark like that, but it set me thinking, what do people see when they see me?, if the sentence made any sense at all,,,
What do they feel when they talk of me? Does anyone ever really bother to look behind some one's face? Do I? Sometimes it really takes an effort to rise out of the gloom,to think of something nice, something other than what's bugging me at the moment,,,but I have become so used to being down in the dumps, mentally, I feel like I am slowly adapting to staying down there.
I really do not want to turn into this bitter old Scrooge of a person, and maybe this is the reason why I try to find something nice, pretty and good, in people, situations, and life as a whole,, if at all I do,, just to survive, to stop the bitterness from taking over completely,,so I smile,, and joke, and kid around,, and talk nineteen to the dozen,,,,,,,,,,,
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